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Evil Boss Lady

Cartoon by Hugh MacLeod

Cartoon by Hugh MacLeod

There is a Workplace Bullying Institute!

WHO KNEW?

And their tagline is, “Work shouldn’t hurt.”

Ok. I am in love with this organization and their mission!

I just wish I’d known about them when I worked for was being tortured by Evil Boss Lady.

If you’ve got a bullying boss, following are some things that you can do about it now thanks to Cheryl Dolan and Faith Oliver on the Harvard Business Blog:

  1. Document and define the bullying. Is it actually bullying? “Women who exert ‘male’ leadership styles are in danger of being perceived as bossy. Men who do the same thing are often praised as decisive,” says John Medina. Look for patterns over time vs. isolated incidents, privately document the facts and specific actions. Finally, look at your company’s culture. Is bullying or aggressive behavior rewarded?
  2. Consider your options and make a choice. If the culture supports or rewards bullying, seriously consider if this environment is for you. “Much of the repeated mistreatment that characterizes bullying relies on a poisoned, sick workplace to permit and sustain the madness,” according to WBI psychologists Ruth and Gary Namie. According to the Labor Day 2009 Survey conducted by the WBI, employers do nothing to correct the bully 53.6% of the time ,and 37% of the targets experienced retaliation for taking action.
  3. Nip bullying in the bud — carefully. Privately derailing someone who is yelling at you by calmly repeating their name can be highly effective. Not so when your boss belittles you in a meeting. (Never out a bully in public; it will surely escalate things.) Once bullying is successful it rapidly becomes a habit — neurons that fire together, wire together — address it when it begins. The Bully at Work and the WBI discuss making formal complaints including legal parameters. In the Company of Women (Heim, Murphy and Golant) and Mean Girls Grown Up (Dellasega) deal specifically with Woman-on-Woman Bullying and relational aggression, providing concrete strategies for creating alliances, interrupting behavior patterns and moving forward effectively and productively.
  4. Grow a support system. Hire a coach, talk to a therapist, or find a mentor or trusted friend. It’s as important to get honest feedback about your experiences, perceptions, reactions, as it is to know that you are not alone.

You don’t have to put up with it.

Don’t.

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Cartoon by Hugh

Cartoon by Hugh

This headline grabbed my attention this morning in my SmartBrief on Entrepreneurs daily newsletter: Entrepreneurs, know when to bend your rules.

The article starts with a Q + A.

Q: “I will ask yet again: Can I have the check now please? We just want to get out of this restaurant already.” — Steve

A: The above exchange occurred over the weekend when my brother, my wife and I went out to eat at a nice restaurant. It turned out to be one of those terrible dining experiences we have all been through at one time or another. Everything went wrong — bad service, cold food, wrong orders, etc.

But it was when the young waitress started crying at our table that we knew it was time to go.

We actually should have left much sooner. When we first walked in we were seated at a “special” table, even though the restaurant was fairly empty. Soon, the manager came up and pointed out that if we wanted to stay at that table we would have to pay an 18% gratuity, per the sign on the table. When I pointed out they were the ones who sat us there, she didn’t care and actually made us move — to a different part of the empty restaurant.

This really struck a chord with me.

WTF.

Why, why, why would anyone treat a customer like that?

Did that manager forget to wear her brain that day??

In the article the author goes on to ask, “How many times have you encountered a business that seems far more interested in following their own rules and procedure than in making you happy, even when it would be a simple thing to say yes to you instead of no?”

Do you empower your employees to make good decisions, or do you have them so hell-bent on following the rules that they might as well be braindead?

When I worked for Evil Boss Lady she had a lot of rules.

Stupid, stupid, ludicrous rules that were clearly designed for one reason only.

To be sure everyone knew that she was The Boss.

The Queen Bee.

The only way she knew how to make herself feel more powerful and important was to impose a wide array of the utterly ridiculous and useless rules on all of us so that there was never any doubt just who was in charge; who was calling the shots, and that the thought never, ever left our minds.

The result? Not only were we collectively miserable, we were unimaginative and uninspired. We did precisely what she told us to do, exactly how she told us to do it – without question, without any creativity, and not a single ounce more for fear of feeling The Wrath of Evil Boss Lady.

When I worked was held captive in Evil Boss Lady’s Theatre of Cruelty I had one client in particular who I became very good friends with.

And, I don’t know why, but it actually surprised me when he told me one day that from the moment he met her, he wanted nothing to do with her.

He saw right through her and he told me that the only reason he was doing business with that firm was because of me. As soon as I left he terminated that relationship – which was nearly half their revenue.

Let’s look at several companies that are known for their customer experience.

  • Nordstrom
  • Disney
  • St. Regis Hotels

Think about how you feel when you spend a day at Disney, shop at Nordstrom, or stay at the St. Regis Hotel.

I know how I feel.

  • Magical
  • Energized
  • Inspired
  • Like the most important person on the planet
  • Relaxed
  • Safe

Who doesn’t want some of that??

And just how is it that these companies are able to provide such consistently phenomenal customer experiences and the ultimate customer loyalty and repeat business?

  1. Their employees are empowered to make good decisions.
  2. Their employees are not so bogged down in following THE RULES that they forget their most important priority: the customer.

This starts at the top.

Corporate leadership must set this tone and live by it.

Lead by example.

If you don’t have the confidence in your employees’ abilities to make good decisions you should fire them.

If you don’t have the confidence in your employees’ abilities to interact successfully with your customers you should fire them.

And, you should set corporate policies on how to deal with customer issues as they arise. Talk about getting creative when needed. Teach them how to determine where the line is and how far they can go. And talk to them them about how to make good judgment calls.

Let go and you just might be surprised by what happens.

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On Thursday Laurie Ruettimann, author of Punk Rock HR, asked on her blog “Do you have a take-this-job-and-shove-it story?” Apparently a lot of people do; she got 35 responses almost immediately!

Cartoon by Hugh

Cartoon by Hugh

Of course I could not resist and I shared my The Devil really does wear Prada story, and Sarah Palin’s recent mid-term resignation as Governor of Alaska was mentioned several times.

Some of my favorite I Quit! stories were:

Pete Krawczyk: “I got tired of not getting to work and called the manager. I said, “I’m not getting enough hours to work here. I’ve only worked 20 hours in 2 months – I quit.” It happened to be final exam week at school, and she responded, “You’re scheduled to work Tuesday and Thursday night this week from 7 PM to close. You’ll have to find someone to cover your shifts.” Boggled, I said, “Excuse me, what part of ‘I Quit’ did you not understand?” Dead silence for a minute, and then, “Oh.”

Jen: “The third was my first ‘real’ job out of college. I was the receptionist/faxer/sales order enterer/coffee maker/HR rep/etc. and the sales manager loved to yell at people. Just for the hell of it. Such a FUN work environment. Not to mention the pats on the ass. Whatever. He yelled at me one day, and I was just done. I went to the CEO and explained that I was quitting, I would not be here tomorrow, I will not help train anyone else, and that he’s lucky I don’t sue. Then I left.”

teresahrgirl: “My “I Quit” story is from when I was in high school. I was 17 and working as a waitress for a diner, a greasy spoon kinda place. The owners were husband and wife and they were effin nuts. The wife pulled a butcher knife out on the husband during one of my shifts and threatned to cut “it” off! They had several more fights like this and the cops were called there on several occasions. I was scheduled to work a 3rd shift on the night of my high school graduation. When I came in directly from my ceremony, the owners were in the parking lot, surrounded by cop cars and screaming at the top of their lungs. I walked up to one of the officers and gave him my waitress smock thing and said tell them their 3rd shift waitress just quit.”

HRPufnstuf: “I’ve (thankfully) never had the opportunity to quit with any sense of elan, however when I was but a child, I am told that I quit broccoli in quite a spectacular fashion. As legend has it, I informed a close blood relative that if they liked broccoli, then they could shovel it into their pie hole. Thus began my brothers reign as “the good son.” I do dream one day of quitting a job through interpretive dance.

As a side note I’ll bet HRPufnstuf and I would get along quite well. When I was a child I quit spinach in a similar fashion. Well actually first I quit all food that was NOT spinach for a like a year (I know. I’m serious. For a year I would only eat spinach.) and then one day when my mom served me spinach I loudly declared that I hated spinach.

As a side side note: Spinach is now my favorite vegetable.

Sue Danbom: “I was briefly a teller for a very large bank. (The hardest, most under-paid, thankless job in the world.) I worked there 3 months for a Dragon Lady. Working Saturdays was pure hell. DL took every Saturday off because of her seniority. One Friday, she brought in a cake that said “TGIF” – Great for her -because everyone else had to work the next day. I could have pushed her face in it.”

And my most favorite…

mmpotter: “One day my boss came up and grabbed me around the waist from behind. Inappropriate, given that he was a married man in his 40s, and I was 16, not to mention his employee. However, I had a fork in my right hand, and I instinctively stabbed him in the left hand, in that meat between your thumb and forefinger. Needless to say, he did not bother me anymore!”

Do you have an “I Quit!” story of your own? We know you do and we want to hear about it. Post it in the comments, please. Especially if it involves forks, stabbing, and the like.

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Yesterday Sarah Palin announced that she will not seek re-election in 2010 and that she is resigning at the end of this month. For those of you who live under a rock she is currently the Governor of Alaska and she was John McCain’s Vice Presidential candidate for the November, 2008 election.

This is what career suicide looks like.

I’m no expert and I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve not exactly been following Sarah Palin closely since the election was over but I do know that she’s got a track record of making very poor decisions and this is no exception. She’s under investigation by so many federal, state, and local authorities for both personal and professional ethical and legal violations it’s a wonder she’s got any time at all to run the state or take care of her family with all of the legal defenses she’s juggling.

There is something you can learn from Sarah Palin though. Quitting mid-term spontaneously and with no discernable reason is an excellent way to kill your career.

For about three seconds there was speculation that she was doing this so she could run for President in 2012 but if you have half a brain it wouldn’t take you long to realize that if that were her reason it would be the worst move she could possibly make because who’s going to elect someone who spontaneously quit as a state Governor halfway through his or her term with no good reason whatsoever?? Well I’m sure there are people who would do that and I really wish I could snatch their ballots right out of their hands because they should not be allowed to vote.

Anyway the focus of the speculation quickly re-centered on scandal. My first suspicion was blackmail and you’d better believe that thousands of political reporters and bloggers are digging for the truth and clammoring to get the exclusive and break the story. It will happen.

Gail Collins wrote in her New York Times Op-Ed piece yesterday, “Truly, Sarah Palin has come a long way. When she ran for vice president, she frequently became disjointed and garbled when she departed from her prepared remarks. Now the prepared remarks are incoherent, too.”

She describes the scene during Palin’s mind-boggling announcement. “Sarah Barracuda made her big announcement Friday afternoon on the lawn of her home to an audience that appeared to include only Todd, the kids and the next-door neighbors. Smiling manically, she looked like a parody of the woman who knocked the Republicans dead at their convention. She babbled about her parents’ refrigerator magnet, which apparently had a lot of wise advice. And she recalled her visit with the troops in Kosovo, whose dedication and determination inspired her to … resign.”

Collins goes on to say “Life is about choices!” declared the nation’s most anti-choice politician.

People, what is going on with governors in this country? Are we doomed to see them go bonkers one by one, state by state?

The timing of Palin’s announcement was extremely peculiar. Not only did she interrupt the plans of TV newscasters to spend the entire weekend pointing out that Michael Jackson is still dead, she delivered her big news just as the nation was settling into Fourth of July celebrations. You’d have thought she didn’t want us to notice.”

Collins writes, “Palin has a year and a half left to go in her term of office. The political world had been wondering whether she’d run for re-election. The answer is no. And furthermore, it turns out that Palin believes that the only way her administration can “continue without interruption” is for her to end it.”

There is rampant rumor of “possible federal indictments against Palin, concerning an embezzlement scandal related to the building of Palin’s house and the Wasilla Sports Complex, built during her tenure as Mayor.” You can read the whole story on The Brad Blog here.

Anyway back to the point I am trying to make. If you have read my blog posts about my unfortunate experiences with Evil Boss Lady you know that I quit that job with no notice after just nine months. Evil Boss Lady started pushing me over the edge on Day 2 of that job and I’m surprised I even lasted nine months to be honest. In most cases I do not recommend quitting without notice and in that situation I felt I had no choice and honestly I also felt that I’d subjected myself to more than enough abuse and I was 1-800-DONE.

  1. Sometime during my first week there she complained to me for two hours one day that the former business development manager in the Chicago office had quit and had only given two weeks’ notice and “her heart wasn’t in it anymore.” DUH. What company do you know that keeps salespeople on for a month after they resign? Not many. I know it depends on the situation but in most cases do you really want that person talking with clients? And you know they’re not going to sit there and continue to try to develop business or sell stuff for you so what’s the point of expecting any notice beyond what it will take to transition the role and the assignments and perhaps let clients know and say goodbye? Anyway when Evil Boss Lady described in detail for me the sheer Hell she put Tracey through during her last two weeks there I thought Note to self. You are not leaving here without being subjected to waterboarding and electrocution. Don’t give notice.
  2. Nobody likes Evil Boss Lady. NOBODY. Her sphere of influence is so miniscule that even if she told all of her friends I didn’t feel it would negatively impact my career because I was certain that they’d both be all um yeah if I worked for you I’d quit with no notice too and I can’t even believe she stuck it out for nine months. She must be made of Teflon.
  3. It was an incredibly small company that no one has ever heard of and the length of time I’d been there was so brief that it didn’t deserve so much as a mention when I talk about my career. Well other than the fact that I brought in more than four times the revenue in just nine months than she wanted me to produce in my entire first year. Yes, that’s right. Four times. More than four times actually. I made a lot of money for Evil Boss Lady.
  4. Evil Boss Lady was the owner of the company. She was not going anywhere. If anyone was going to leave it was going to have to be me.
  5. I was leaving to start my own business and I knew that I was not going to be in a situation where someone would want to talk with her as a reference.

As you can see I carefully thought through my decision and weighed my options. If and when you decide to quit your job I recommend that you do the same. I also recommend in most cases that you offer at least two weeks’ notice. The way that you conduct yourself during your transition and departure will be remembered just as vividly or even more so than all of your work during the entire time you were with that company.

Think long and hard before you burn a bridge. In the situation with Evil Boss Lady I knew that even if I gave SIX MONTHS’ notice she would talk badly about me anyway because she never had a single kind word to say about any former employee (I’m sure the feelings were mutual) and I also knew that Hell would freeze over I’d ever want to work for or with her again.

Sarah Palin’s seemingly spontaneous decision to quit mid-term as Governor has sealed her fate politically. She’s done. She may write books and get paid for speaking but if she has any future political aspirations she can forget it. In her rambling speech yesterday she was all over the place and she did not give one good or concrete reason for quitting. She gave the press absolutely no notice of the “press conference” and she did it seemingly purposefully on a Friday afternoon when many reporters were celebrating the 4th and not hot on her trail. Palin was evasive in her statement and she has created all kinds of talk and speculation and once again she’s managed to stir up an absolute circus around herself. She’s really good at that.

My point is that if you conduct yourself the way she has you have a good chance of sealing your career fate as well and I don’t mean in a good way. No matter how miserable you are in a job it is critically important that you

  1. Don’t quit right in the middle of a huge new product launch or system implementation or equally important initiative. It’s almost impossible to do that and do it well. If you must do this then you need to go OVER THE TOP to be sure that your departure doesn’t create so much as a hiccup in the operation.
  2. Keep any commitments you have made and if that is absolutely impossible be sure to work with the powers-that-be to ensure a smooth hand-off of any outstanding responsibilities.
  3. If you are comfortable with sharing this information, tell your employer and co-workers why you are leaving and for God’s sake whatever you do do not say that you’re leaving because you hate your job /  boss / the company. Always state career transitions in a way that says you are going to something rather than trying to get away from _______. It gives off a much more positive and productive vibe and trust me you will feel better about yourself if you do this.

And now if you have any horror stories about Evil Bosses and quitting I would like to hear them please. :-)

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The Devil really does wear Prada, Part II

June 6, 2009

In The Devil really does wear Prada I shared some of Evil Boss Lady’s awesome rules. Working for her was kind of like in the movie Psycho only more rabid and scary. Also if you are reading this then the hitman that Evil Boss Lady has surely hired by now to kill me must not have found me yet. And [...]

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The Devil really does wear Prada

June 6, 2009

A lot of people are blogging about their first jobs these days. I’m going to tell you about my worst. job. EVER. Actually, the job itself was great. I loved what I was doing and I loved my clients and co-workers. There was just one problem. And IT WAS A BIG ONE. Evil Boss Lady. I [...]

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