Cartoon by Hugh MacLeod
My grandmother is 87 years old, and she’s one of the most opinionated people I know.
She says a lot of really funny things, and I think what’s funniest is that she truly doesn’t realize the irony.
Anyway, it’s the holidays, and everyone is thinking and talking about family, so I thought I’d share a couple of these delicious  little morsels with you.
You know, since I didn’t bake anything for you…
By the way…her name is Dorothy, but because I couldn’t say that when I was learning to talk, I called her Do (pronounced like doe a deer), and it’s stuck ever since.
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Do: Oh, there’s that Hillary [Clinton] [on TV] again.
Do: I can’t stand that woman.
Me:
Do: Every time I see her I just want to punch her.
Do: Kick her in the teeth.
Me:
Me: I seem to recall you saying the same thing about Barack Obama, and then you voted for him.
Do, a life-long Republican: Well, who was I supposed to vote for…JOHN MCCAIN??
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Do: I just don’t know what’s going to happen to this country.
Me:
Do: I hear they’re not going to bail out the automakers.
Me: Yep.
Me: Good.
Do: Well, what are we going to do? HOW WILL ANYONE HAVE ANY CARS??
Me: There are, um, other automakers, you know…
Do, disgusted at the thought of anyone buying a non-US car: WELL.
Me: Besides. Those factories aren’t going to just sit there.
Me: New companies will be formed with better business plans and cars that people want to buy.
Me: They’ll retool the factories, and rehire and retrain the workers.
Do, obviously thinking way back in time: Â We used to have the nicest Chevys…and Buicks…
Me: Well, the quality isn’t there any more, and those companies are doing poorly because of it.
Do:
Do:
Do: You know what?
Do: You’re right.
Do: That Buick I have out there is a piece of JUNK!!
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Do: I really like your new car…
Me: Thanks!
Me: I didn’t think you’d like it since it’s German.
Do: No, they’re not German.
Me:
Do: BMW stands for British Motor Works.
Me:
Me, trying to keep a straight face: Oh.
Me: Yes.
Me: Right.
Me: It does!
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