Working for a bully? What you can do about it right. now.

Cartoon by Hugh MacLeod

There is a Workplace Bullying Institute!

WHO KNEW?

And their tagline is, “Work shouldn’t hurt.”

Ok. I am in love with this organization and their mission!

I just wish I’d known about them when I worked for was being tortured by Evil Boss Lady.

If you’ve got a bullying boss, following are some things that you can do about it now thanks to Cheryl Dolan and Faith Oliver on the Harvard Business Blog:

1. Document and define the bullying. Is it actually bullying? “Women who exert ‘male’ leadership styles are in danger of being perceived as bossy. Men who do the same thing are often praised as decisive,” says John Medina. Look for patterns over time vs. isolated incidents, privately document the facts and specific actions. Finally, look at your company’s culture. Is bullying or aggressive behavior rewarded?
2. Consider your options and make a choice. If the culture supports or rewards bullying, seriously consider if this environment is for you. “Much of the repeated mistreatment that characterizes bullying relies on a poisoned, sick workplace to permit and sustain the madness,” according to WBI psychologists Ruth and Gary Namie. According to the Labor Day 2009 Survey conducted by the WBI, employers do nothing to correct the bully 53.6% of the time ,and 37% of the targets experienced retaliation for taking action.
3. Nip bullying in the bud — carefully. Privately derailing someone who is yelling at you by calmly repeating their name can be highly effective. Not so when your boss belittles you in a meeting. (Never out a bully in public; it will surely escalate things.) Once bullying is successful it rapidly becomes a habit — neurons that fire together, wire together — address it when it begins. The Bully at Work and the WBI discuss making formal complaints including legal parameters. In the Company of Women (Heim, Murphy and Golant) and Mean Girls Grown Up (Dellasega) deal specifically with Woman-on-Woman Bullying and relational aggression, providing concrete strategies for creating alliances, interrupting behavior patterns and moving forward effectively and productively.
4. Grow a support system. Hire a coach, talk to a therapist, or find a mentor or trusted friend. It’s as important to get honest feedback about your experiences, perceptions, reactions, as it is to know that you are not alone.

You don’t have to put up with it.

Don’t.

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