Ladies: you now have to dress like you’re Amish (especially if you have nice legs)

by Stephanie A. Lloyd on September 4, 2009 · 28 comments

in Interviewing,Workplace Issues

I was all set to write about another subject entirely this morning when I came across this blog post thanks to a tweet by @careerealism.

The post is titled Women: The Interview Double-Standard and below are the key points:

Here’s an interesting issue to consider: if the job candidate is a woman and the interviewer is a man, is it appropriate for her to cross her legs?

It depends.

First of all, it’s important to understand something about fundamental comfort. Crossing of the legs during an interview is not necessarily a gender thing; men do it as well, and the reason is because it is much easier on the lower back when sitting if at least one knee is elevated above the hip.

BUT, body language speaks!

For women during an interview, however, there are “body language” and cultural baggage issues associated with crossing one’s legs – and some of it in fact does relate to comfort.

When a man crosses his legs, he usually leans back as well, suggesting a “casual” attitude. This is probably not the best idea during a formal interview.

When a woman does this, she does not necessarily lean back, however. And, if she is wearing a skirt, the hemline will invariably ride up, displaying the limb in question in a more-or-less attractive – and in the opinion of many men, provocative – manner.

It’s a sticky situation for a woman…particularly one with attractive legs.

After all, despite the fact that men are what they are, an interview is a professional situation. One does not want to come off as if she is attempting to use sexual persuasion to get a job – and despite the way it is depicted in popular culture, this rarely works – and in any event, says more about a man’s character than it does a woman’s.

Solution? Eliminate the issue.

For women overly concerned about this issue, there is a very simple solution. She should wear a nice business pant suit or slacks to the interview, preferably something loose-fitting that downplays her sexual charms. Either that, or an ankle-length skirt or dress.

Provided she is sitting erect and looks as if she is alert and paying attention, in such an outfit the crossing of the legs should not be an issue, except insofar as it relieves pressure on the lower back by elevating one knee.

You can read the post in its entirety here.

The part that REALLY set my hair on fire is this: “For women overly concerned about this issue, there is a very simple solution. She should wear a nice business pant suit or slacks to the interview, preferably something loose-fitting that downplays her sexual charms. Either that, or an ankle-length skirt or dress.”

After reading this I thought, “So, women are now supposed to dress like we’re Amish for a job interview so the men don’t think we’re workin’ it?? That is ludicrous on so many levels and now I’m thoroughly pissed off really really mad.

Well then I guess this also means that I now have to dress like I’m Amish for business meetings too. And conferences, tweetups, etc.

That’s just great.

I guess I’m supposed to go and throw out all of my skirts and dresses that are not dragging the floor (which means I have to throw out ALL my skirts and dresses) and WHY DON’T I JUST GO AND BUY A TENT TO WEAR (not from Sears) because honestly I live in Georgia and I don’t think we have any Amish clothing stores here.

photo by Joe Shlabotnik

photo by Joe Shlabotnik

Oh and maybe I should get one of those bonnets too. (Bonus: won’t have to do my hair anymore.)

And some of those black work boots that tie up to my knees.”

Ok.

Seriously.

If the point that the author makes is valid, what does this say about men?

That they are basically animals with zero ability to restrain themselves and/or so misguided and unable to handle themselves in a professional setting that if God forbid they see a little leg they automatically assume that their female interviewer / interviewee / colleague / manager / client / professional acquaintance is hitting on them?? Because that’s what it sounds like to me.

And if I were a man I’d be REALLY mad right now.

To put it mildly.

I thought we were past the days that women had to dress like men in order to be taken seriously in the workplace. I graduated from college in 1993 and I specifically remember having to wear those horrible boxy suits with huge shoulder pads and pocket squares (?) that were stuffy and stodgy and basically looking like we were wearing men’s suits but with a frumpy skirt instead of pants.

I am still scarred by those days. In fact, Miriam Salpeter and I talked about the fact that only very recently have I even considered buying an article of clothing that is navy blue because since the 90s I have always associated that color with those heinous polyester mansuits we had to wear every day.

Anyway, what are your interpretations of this blog post? Thoughts on this subject? Do you agree with me or think I’ve missed something?

Comments, please. :-)

Scridb filter

{ 2 trackbacks }

imjustagoyle » Skirting the Issue
September 7, 2009 at 3:21 pm
The debate continues: Ladies, you now have to dress like you’re Amish
September 8, 2009 at 1:21 pm

{ 26 comments }

imjustagoyle September 4, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Girrrrl! Before you even got to the part where you were fired up, I was fired up. That is the most ridiculous piece of garbage that I’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing! I think it speaks of us like animals – men and women. Crossing of the legs for women is something we are TAUGHT to do at an early age as an appropriate way to sit with a dress on; to be ladylike. Now it makes us a hooker on parade?? WTF? Dumb.

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 4, 2009 at 1:03 pm

“Hooker on parade” …that is priceless. :-)

Steve Dodd September 4, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Stephanie and Robin, with all due respect, I think we are dealing with two extremes of opinion here. I’ve been on both sides of the interview with women and I personally believe that tastefully conservative yet stylish attire is alway appropriate, legs crossed or not. Too much either way, doesn’t help. To be successful in an interview (or any business meeting for that matter) one must pay attention to the body language you transmit. For that reason, dress so that you can comfortably transmit the body language needed so as to keep the focus on your capabilities and qualifications. Whether your meeting a man or a woman, how you dress will have an impact (good or bad), the choice is yours.
Hopefully, the ice has not cracked beneath me!

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 4, 2009 at 1:35 pm

Hi Steve,

Did you hear the sound of that huge crack beneath you? ;-)

I completely agree with you that tastefully conservative yet stylish attire is always appropriate — and that to be successful in an interview or business meeting one must pay attention to the body language they are transmitting.

But, what I reacted to is the author’s blanket statements that women should not cross their legs in an interview with a man unless we wear pants or “an ankle-length skirt or dress.” These statements are ridiculous – beyond ridiculous – IMO.

I happen to know how to dress so that I can sit with my legs crossed and not show too much leg, and I know many other women who do, as well. Pants or skirt/dress to the ankle not required.

Cheers!

Stephanie

Trish September 4, 2009 at 1:16 pm

OMG! I was fired up too, and knew you’d be Stephanie. Let me tell you, the last time I wore an ankle length skirt I was a bridesmaid in a HIDEOUS, repulsive dress. The great news is that it makes dressing for interviews really EASY for all of us ladies going forward (as well as dressing for meetings/ tweet ups/ etc.). Bust out all those old bridesmaid dresses girls- we’ve finally found a use for them.

Maybe the HRevolution can be the first place we all wear them and test them out! NOT! Thanks for the great post Stephanie. As usual, you’ve got it right.

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 4, 2009 at 1:38 pm

OMG. Bridesmaid’s dresses…that thought came to my mind as well when I was writing this.

I totally think we should all wear old bridesmaid’s dresses to a Tweetup in protest. :-)

Have a good weekend!

S.

Marisa September 4, 2009 at 1:25 pm

My first thought, “Really, someone needs to be told you need to where a suit to an interview? Not getting that job!”

Then I just pictured you wearing a bonet at the next Tweetup and thought that would be as likely as someone we know ordering Matressess from Sears.

PS… Do they sell these “sexual charms” somewhere or do we get them as part of our hooker on parade package for being fabulous females???

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 4, 2009 at 1:40 pm

“Then I just pictured you wearing a bonet at the next Tweetup and thought that would be as likely as someone we know ordering Matressess from Sears.”

LOL!

P.S. I think the “sexual charms” are included in our Hooker on Parade Packages. :-)

imjustagoyle September 4, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Steve, with all due respect – advising someone to wear an ankle length skirt or dress to an interview is just the worst piece of advice I’ve ever heard. If you’re a woman and you wear a hoochie skirt to an interview well then you KNOW you are showing off your “sexual charms” and apparently you’re ok with it. There is nothing at all wrong with wearing a tasteful suit with a knee-length skirt. As for the advice that it be “loose fitting”, these people have clearly never watched “What Not to Wear”. Sorry but I get fired up when someone assumes that being FEMALE detracts from the ability to have common sense or to dress appropriately in an interview. I know plenty of men that fail with that task, too but you don’t see me advising them to be “less cave-man”. Cripes.

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 4, 2009 at 1:41 pm

AMEN!

Robin you are dead-on, my friend.

imjustagoyle September 4, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Oh and for the record, I’m not being pissy w/you, Steve. Your advice is accurate! I got the vibe you were kinda telling us to “calm down” about the original advice, though. That sends me reeling. LOL

Tiffany September 4, 2009 at 2:12 pm

As a company whose corporate dress code consists of skirt suits for women and suits for men, I probably come at this than a different perspective than most. But here’s my take: Body language is indeed important, whether in an interview or a business meeting after you’ve gotten the job. But you should be cognizant of your presence in whatever you are wearing — I’ve seen plenty of scandalous pant suit situations as well. So, rock the skirt if you want to, just be professional while you’re doing it.

China Gorman @ChinaGorman September 4, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Yikes! And again I say, Yikes!

Here’s my deal about being a woman and clothes in the professional world. I wear stylish, sometimes expensive, sometimes colorful, always appropriate BUSINESS attire in meetings, when I give speeches, in interviews, when testifying in front of congressional sub-committees, on sales calls, etc. I am a confident, experienced, successful business leader and that’s how I behave. That’s what I look like. And I’m quite certain that’s what my body language says. Whether or not I cross my legs is entirely inconsequential because I am a confident, experienced, successful business leader and that’s how I behave. Whether or not you can see my ankles is entirely inconsequential because I am a confident, experienced, successful business leader and that’s how I behave. Whether or not I’m wearing navy or red or teal is inconsequential because I am a confident, experienced, successful business leader and that’s how I behave.

The bottom line is not what you are wearing and whether you cross you legs! The bottom line is your behavior and clothes need to be congruent with who you are. And then you win!

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 4, 2009 at 2:36 pm

“The bottom line is not what you are wearing and whether you cross you legs! The bottom line is your behavior and clothes need to be congruent with who you are. And then you win!”

Sing it, China! You are exactly right. :-)

Dawn Bugni September 4, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Gee Stephanie –

I’m really torn on this on this one. Half of me is in complete agreement with you. It is beyond absurd to assume humans have to inject sexual connotations into every single thing we do; and we’re not adult enough to conduct ourselves as anything other than rutting animals in a constant state of heat.

On the other hand, it’s a tough job market and the job seekers, male or female, should be cognizant of the myriad subjective things that could disqualify their candidacy, including reading crossed legs as an overt sexual gesture.

It’s best the job seeker dress to respect themselves and their audience. If dressed in appropriate business attire exhibiting professional self-confidence (no thigh-high skirts, 4″-heels, muffin tops or overflowing cleavage — coming or going) and crossed legs during the interview sends the interviewer into a cold, panting sweat, I’d have to ask, does the candidate really want to work for that company or that type of individual???

A trip to the high road is in order for both sides of the desk. Interviewers and interviewees, grow up and conduct yourselves as professionals. Doing that would ensure an attempt to get comfortable during a stressful situation isn’t equated to a come-on, and we all could relax and get back to work.

Jason Prance September 4, 2009 at 11:39 pm

I think the Greeks had it all right back in the day… Togas. When are togas going to come back in style!? They look comfortable and there’s just so much you can do with them, the possibilities are endless! :)

Great post, Stephanie. Something of importance for both men and women to reflect on.

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 5, 2009 at 10:03 am

Togas…now there’s an idea! ;-)

laurie ruettimann September 5, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Sweet Jesus.

If anyone ever tells me what to do with my ankles, I will punch that person in the face.

That is all.

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 5, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Ohhh my dear friend.

I am now officially 100% certain we were cut from the same cloth.

Looking forward to meeting you IRL. :-)

China Gorman @ChinaGorman September 5, 2009 at 10:13 pm

Really? The two of you haven’t met IRL? Oh, we have to make this happen immediately!

Miriam Salpeter, Keppie Careers September 6, 2009 at 12:55 am

Sorry to be coming late to the party here! Where to begin?

I’m all for conservative clothing for interviews. That said, suggesting that women should only wear pants or ankle-length skirts (or dresses?!) to interviews strikes me as absurd. (Or, maybe shorter skirts are okay as long as there is no leg crossing? Or, maybe it’s only an issue for the woman with attractive legs? Unattractive-legged women can eschew the prom dress and wear a short skirt?)

I agree with China that how you act and present yourself are the key factors in determining how others will judge you. In the long run, I’d like to believe that what the candidate SAYS during the interview is so much more important than whether or how she crosses her legs.

adowling September 6, 2009 at 12:51 pm

There’s a difference between dressing like a hooker and wearing a conservative business suit that happens to be a skirt. If you wear a skirt/dress sit down in front of mirror and make sure if you cross your legs everything is covered appropriately.
Can you still buy an ankle length skirt?

Stephanie A. Lloyd September 6, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Yes. In Amish clothing stores. ;-)

adowling September 6, 2009 at 2:17 pm

haha We dont even have those over here in Birmingham!

Janice Worthington @execjobcoach September 8, 2009 at 2:21 am

Ladies.. Ladies.. why so angry? Here’s my take…

We all know that sitting in a chair with legs crossed puts us in a more passive position because we are forced to somewhat lean back. We have more power to our voices ( and gestures) if we can count on our diaphragms ( the anatomical ones) to provide the breath we need, so I recommend we sit up! Not like statues, mind you!

My message to an employer is not best delivered passively so why would I position my body in a more relaxed position and visually contradict my tone? Nothing at all to do with gender, sex or apparel.

We all know when someone’s gaze is pondering something other than the ROI. I’d stay away from both the employer and job seeker whose eyes wander, anyway.

Happy Tuesday!

Janice ;o)

Michael Haberman, SPHR September 9, 2009 at 3:07 pm

What does it say about the article that the original author is a woman?

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