From the monthly archives:

May 2009

I vote that we officially eliminate the following from the workplace English language:

Dial back

Any person born after 1985 doesn’t even know what a dial is. If you’re lucky they might think you are referring to a bar of soap but really they think you are an antique and better suited for collecting dust in their grandmother’s attic than spewing your archaic ideas and getting in the way of actual progress.

Social Media Expert

Saying that you are an expert in social media is like saying you are an expert at sending faxes or talking on the phone. IT IS A COMMUNICATION TOOL. If you say you are a social media expert then you probably also walk around telling people you’re a “letter writing expert” and an “email expert.”

Cartoon by Hugh MacLeod

Cartoon by Hugh MacLeod

Reach Out

You were obviously a partner at a consulting firm in 1992. Nobody says this but you.

Thought Leader

Please tell me what a “thought leader” is. Were you the very first person ever in the history of the universe to think this particular thought? Because that’s what it sounds like you’re saying and even if you are delusional enough to think this is actually true then please prove it.

Bandwidth via @sullivanmarkd

Unless you work for a cable or telecom company you have no reason to ever use this word.

FTW

“I’m going to get my oil changed FTW!” and “My kid lost his first tooth FTW!” and “Just vacuumed my keyboard FTW!”

Seriously. Stop it.

A-player / A-list / Bring your A-game / Game-changer

Are we at a baseball game or are we in a meeting.

Incentive-ize via @jamesdobra

That is so not even a word.

Other words and phrases I’d like to abolish:

  • ANYTHING “2.0″
  • We’re not curing cancer here
  • From the frying pan into the fire
  • Top Talent
  • Off the grid
  • Content
  • Authentic
  • Rhetoric (typical offenders are MSM and politicians)
  • Energize the base (also MSM and politicians)

Many people on Twitter were eager to share what they do not ever want to hear again:

@sullivanmarkd

  • Not to sound cliche

@adowling

  • At the end of the day

@EASTeam

  • Dear valued customer

@Glennlist

  • War on Talent (“the war is over!”)

@HeatherHartmann

  • Transparency

@rustytanton

  • Touch base

@MNHeadhunter

  • Raising it to the next level
  • Thinking outside the box

@adamsconsulting

  • To be honest with you
  • Rocket Science
  • My two cents
  • Pushing the envelope
  • Back to the drawing board
  • Bite the bullet
  • Hit the nail on the head
  • Add insult to injury
  • Beat a dead horse

@BradConley

  • Polished and professional

@sarahcannon

  • Synergy

@sbjet

  • Rockstar

@DarrylRMSG

  • Holistic
  • Gaining traction
  • Ping me
  • Offline
  • Web 2.0
  • Recession proof

@PolyPlacements

  • Silos

Please feel free to share! What would you like to add to the list?

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Thanks to Dan Schawbel, author of “Me 2.0,” I discovered an article on AJC.com this morning, “Here’s how blogs can work for you” by Laura Raines.

Raines writes, “Blogs are spreading faster than kudzu in the business world. Why? “Because, when done effectively, they are a great marketing, sales and public relations tool for corporations or entrepreneurs,” said Barbara Giamanco, CEO of Talent Builders Inc., which helps professionals attract business and increase sales by using social media strategies and tools.

You know it works when you start getting calls from people you don’t know who want to work with you,” she said. Recently, Giamanco garnered a major corporate client. A friend had referred her, but before calling, he did an online search, and read her LinkedIn profile and her blog, which relates to her core competencies of sales, people development and social media technology. “He liked what I had to say, so before he even met me, I had made an impression as a professional with credibility and integrity,” Giamanco said.”

What Giamanco describes are the fundamentals of relationship-based selling.

These are the same principles you should apply to your job search, and a blog can be a fantastic vehicle to demonstrate your expertise and connect with others in your field. Remember that, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking.

The technology has made it easier than ever to start a blog, and with search engines preferring content that is relevant and recent, blogs often top the results list of a search. That can be a business advantage—-or not.”

It is important to keep in mind that the same rules apply when using social media tools to build meaningful relationships with people. Nobody likes spam and people aren’t interested in “bots” spewing information at them. It’s the difference between the law of attraction and an obvious sales pitch. Developing credibility takes thought and energy. It’s an investment.

Says Raines, “A blog is not a brochure. “One of the quickest ways to fail is to make it an online sales pitch,” Giamanco said. “Nothing turns people off faster than a ‘slick Willy’ hawking his product or services. You want to have a conversation with people and get them to participate.”

Giamanco goes on to say. “People want to do business with people they know, like and trust, but building that relationship takes time. Don’t expect instant results.”

Michael Kogon, CEO and founder of Definition 6, a leading interactive solutions marketing company, suggests focusing on a subject “that draws from your expertise and is broad enough to interest readers. It should be professional, not your personal musings. No one wants to read your thoughts on the universe, unless you’re Stephen Hawking.”

Raines says that you should be authentic when writing on your blog. “Use your own voice and be real,” Giamanco said. “But always treat others with courtesy and respect. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it online.”

Be prepared to make a commitment. Blogging requires time and effort to draw readers in and keep them interested and engaged. Once you get started you’ll need to post at least several times a week.

Kogon suggests following other bloggers relevant to your subject for a few weeks before starting your own. “A good way to start is to be a frequent contributor or commenter on other people’s blogs.”

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“Today I realized my hatred of my job had reached new heights when I started believing it wasn’t important to photocopy every page of a document.’ Company Bitch (CB)

Sound familiar?

You know you need a new job when

Your boss still can’t remember your name.  You have worked there for two years.

You constantly daydream about being a Mouseketeer.

There’s a meeting at 2:00 to talk about the upcoming reorganization. You’re not invited.

You lie about what you do for a living.

Cartoon by Hugh at gapingvoid.com

You constantly fall asleep at work because there is nothing else to do.

You spend hours contemplating how you can stab your boss without going to prison.

The most rewarding thing you did all week was sharpen all of your pencils.

All your friends think your boss’s actual name is Evil Boss Lady.

When you tell people where you work they express their condolences.

You have a choice between going to work or getting a root canal and you choose the root canal.

Your boss used the word “sucks” in your annual performance review seventeen times.

Quitting will be your favorite part of the job.

You made out with a co-worker at the office party last night.

And my personal favorite…

You finally just quit doing any cold calling altogether and you completely make up those stupid reports every week. The names, titles, everything. And you discuss the made-up reports and fake people with your boss every single week with a perfectly straight face. This has been going on for months and it’s pretty much your only source of pleasure.

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10. Not a good idea to have a profanity filled rap song as your message on your cell number. You’ll offend most hiring managers. via @DarrylRMSG

9.  Saying how “bored to death” you are at your job on Facebook = red flag for [current and] prospective employers! via @peopleshark

8. Do *not* use e-mail addresses such as SkiBunny89, Cr33pyBusMan, or kinkykatgurl to submit your resume. (suggestion: firstname.lastname@ ___.com)

7. What *not* to do when working with a recruiter: “If I ask you to follow up with me in a week, please do not call me twelve hours later to ‘follow up.’”

6. What *not* to say when asked what you want to do: “I’ve done it all. Everything. All of it. I can do anything. I’ll do ANYTHING!!

5. At a job fair, do not point, wink, and say “nice outfit, you look good!” via @Mittons

4. What *not* to do when applying for a job: “Candidate submitted a nine-page cover letter accompanied by a four-page résumé.”

3. “He posted his resume on his MySpace page — next to pictures of himself very drunk — and naked women.”

2. Got an email today that said he enjoyed meeting me last week at a networking event. I wasn’t there/never have been. :-) via @CincyRecruiter

1. Looking for a job? What *not* to say on Twitter via @DailyCareerTips: “I need a new job. Too bad I smoked weed Friday. Hopefully I won’t have a drug test.

For more of these savory little morsels check out @JobSnob on Twitter!

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Make it easy for employers to find you!

May 21, 2009

Several weeks ago I was contacted by Matthew Rochte who had been referred to me by Sheree Van Vreede, @RezLady. He reached out to me by email with a courteous and professional introduction which told me what types of positions he is seeking, and included a link to his resume: My resume is available in [...]

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Your eyes are the window to your soul and Google is a CT scan of your resume.

May 20, 2009

I know what you’re thinking. But Facebook / MySpace [or "SpacePage" if you're talking to my grandmother] is just for fun! What’s wrong with posting pictures of my birthday / bachelor / bachelorette  / divorce party? It’s not like I’ve posted them on LinkedIn or include them when I submit my resume… You might as [...]

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Want to get the job? Don’t make people hate you by stalking them.

May 17, 2009

Several months ago Miriam Salpeter of Keppie Careers interviewed me for her Examiner column. One of the questions she asked is “When does “follow-up” become stalking?” A candidate emailed his resume to me on a Tuesday and called five seconds later “to be sure I’d received it.” He said that he wanted me to “find [...]

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Q: “What type of job are you looking for?” A: I’LL DO ANYTHING.

May 16, 2009

This is part of an ongoing series in which I’m answering questions from job seekers. Please post your questions in the comments section below to be answered in future articles. Please include your name and location if you want to be addressed by name; otherwise the question will be attributed to “Anonymous.” “I’ve read recruiters [...]

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